Situation: AC outlet pipe chewed thoughtfully by squirrels
(actually i have no idea whether they were being thoughtful or its just part of their diet...but u read all these books which say....he/she chewed thoughtfully on a scrap of bacon/chicken.etc. and i always wanted to use this somewhere. verbal.diarrhea.must.control)
Result: Flooding in the balcony. Water in downstairs neighbor's balcony. Resultant unpleasantness.
Solution: Call AC repair guy.
Chronology: This will take some time so lets go for bullet points shall we?
1. Complaint registered. Somebody will come in 48 hrs.
2. Nobody comes in said 48 hrs
3. Call call centre again many many times. They shyly agree to give repair centre wala's direct number....tomorrow. Not today. Coz you know...its protected under the official secrets act today.
4. Call the repair centre number many many times. No one picks up.
5. Remember having gone through similar ordeal last time and dig out the last time wala guy's number. Call him obsessively like in denial about a relationship gone bad.
6. Finally speak to human being instead of only listening to latest tamil hits.
7. Another round of gentle and not-so-gentle persuasion to pleaseeeeeeeeeee come and fix the damn thing. Solemn assurance from other party.
8. He arrives. Much happiness and jubilation. Says new pipe needed. Well...what a surprise...who would have thought??
9. Some more persuasion for him to please go get the new pipe for suitable reimbursement of the trouble. This takes very long owing to my approx 8.56% knowledge of tamil and his 0% knowledge of any other language.
10. Informed of extortionist service charges. Revived from swooning fit by the child who...for some reason always goes into hyper mode when any AC repair guy comes.
11. New pipe installed. Also AC gets thoroughly cleaned. Self suitably impressed (ye kitne acche se saaf kar raha hai...last time ki service mei toh sirf upar upar se hi clean kiya tha. ) Not always a good thing...too much cleaning. Mark my words.
13. After departure, realize that the remote no longer works. Call him again. He comes and repairs.
14. Day 3 after this, wake up to a big puddle of water in the room. Nothing floating as yet...but close enough. Realise AC leaking. Also realize this is Saturday...on which no repairman worth his salt will agree to be anything other than 'completely booked'.
15. So until monday, do endless rounds of pocha and use up all the old bedsheets to soak up the mess. For anyone asking about options of not using the AC ....do you live in chennai? have u experienced summer here? do you have any more foolish observations on my AC usage?? Good. Glad thats settled.
16. Today Monday....again call repair wala obsessively. Finally darshan at 1.30 pm.
17. Long periods of fiddling with with every nut bolt, pipe and part. Leak becomes worse...and is now almost pouring.
18. He tries to make an escape 3 times....station child at the door to inform self any time uncle tries to get away.
19. Finally repair guy comes up with brilliant solution of raising one end of the AC above the wall bracket....to 'reverse the slope' he says.
20. Self loses it completely at this nonsense. Hysterical shouting in a truly awful combination of tamil + malyalam + english plus some telugu thrown in for good measure. Then lots of hand gestures.
21. AC comes back to original position. We glare at each other in identical expressions of misery and frustration.
22. Meanwhile it is now 3.30 pm. Child has to go for dance class. Which he doesn't want to go to. Repair wala has to repair AC which he no longer has any clue how to. I have work which doesn't look like is going to get completed anytime soon. Happiness all around.
23. He fiddles some more. Voila...its fixed! He has no clue how it worked and i'm not really asking. His feet cant carry him out fast enough. Child bribed with banana cake and sent to class. And yours truly...recalling the entire episode late at night for you...my dear non-existent readers!! :)
(actually i have no idea whether they were being thoughtful or its just part of their diet...but u read all these books which say....he/she chewed thoughtfully on a scrap of bacon/chicken.etc. and i always wanted to use this somewhere. verbal.diarrhea.must.control)
Result: Flooding in the balcony. Water in downstairs neighbor's balcony. Resultant unpleasantness.
Solution: Call AC repair guy.
Chronology: This will take some time so lets go for bullet points shall we?
1. Complaint registered. Somebody will come in 48 hrs.
2. Nobody comes in said 48 hrs
3. Call call centre again many many times. They shyly agree to give repair centre wala's direct number....tomorrow. Not today. Coz you know...its protected under the official secrets act today.
4. Call the repair centre number many many times. No one picks up.
5. Remember having gone through similar ordeal last time and dig out the last time wala guy's number. Call him obsessively like in denial about a relationship gone bad.
6. Finally speak to human being instead of only listening to latest tamil hits.
7. Another round of gentle and not-so-gentle persuasion to pleaseeeeeeeeeee come and fix the damn thing. Solemn assurance from other party.
8. He arrives. Much happiness and jubilation. Says new pipe needed. Well...what a surprise...who would have thought??
9. Some more persuasion for him to please go get the new pipe for suitable reimbursement of the trouble. This takes very long owing to my approx 8.56% knowledge of tamil and his 0% knowledge of any other language.
10. Informed of extortionist service charges. Revived from swooning fit by the child who...for some reason always goes into hyper mode when any AC repair guy comes.
11. New pipe installed. Also AC gets thoroughly cleaned. Self suitably impressed (ye kitne acche se saaf kar raha hai...last time ki service mei toh sirf upar upar se hi clean kiya tha. ) Not always a good thing...too much cleaning. Mark my words.
13. After departure, realize that the remote no longer works. Call him again. He comes and repairs.
14. Day 3 after this, wake up to a big puddle of water in the room. Nothing floating as yet...but close enough. Realise AC leaking. Also realize this is Saturday...on which no repairman worth his salt will agree to be anything other than 'completely booked'.
15. So until monday, do endless rounds of pocha and use up all the old bedsheets to soak up the mess. For anyone asking about options of not using the AC ....do you live in chennai? have u experienced summer here? do you have any more foolish observations on my AC usage?? Good. Glad thats settled.
16. Today Monday....again call repair wala obsessively. Finally darshan at 1.30 pm.
17. Long periods of fiddling with with every nut bolt, pipe and part. Leak becomes worse...and is now almost pouring.
18. He tries to make an escape 3 times....station child at the door to inform self any time uncle tries to get away.
19. Finally repair guy comes up with brilliant solution of raising one end of the AC above the wall bracket....to 'reverse the slope' he says.
20. Self loses it completely at this nonsense. Hysterical shouting in a truly awful combination of tamil + malyalam + english plus some telugu thrown in for good measure. Then lots of hand gestures.
21. AC comes back to original position. We glare at each other in identical expressions of misery and frustration.
22. Meanwhile it is now 3.30 pm. Child has to go for dance class. Which he doesn't want to go to. Repair wala has to repair AC which he no longer has any clue how to. I have work which doesn't look like is going to get completed anytime soon. Happiness all around.
23. He fiddles some more. Voila...its fixed! He has no clue how it worked and i'm not really asking. His feet cant carry him out fast enough. Child bribed with banana cake and sent to class. And yours truly...recalling the entire episode late at night for you...my dear non-existent readers!! :)
3 comments:
felt so relieved at the end.... :)
Non-existent? What? We are all here, we are listening with rapt attention. So you may mistake us for empty seats.
Btw, we would rally appreciate more frequent updates on your Chennai (mis)adventures!
Jags!! you restore my faith in ...err...my audience :)
I'd clean forgotten that I'd ever written this...made for fun reading:)
and you should be writing more often!
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